Enjoy.
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"Dear iPhone,
I just want you to understand why I feel the way I do. I have spent so much time with you since February, often forsaking conversation with my friends and associates to fiddle with you and explore your many possibilities (aka, applications). I will never forget our walks in the park, dinner and a movie, and simply relaxing at work when I should have been working.
You see, sometimes I love you, like on those rare occasions that you work perfectly and give me absolutely no problems. Then there are those long and seemingly unending days when you decide to play with my emotions and not charge, show me my voicemail, nor connect to my applications. It is during these times that I loathe you. Plain and simple, iPhone, you and I have quite the love/hate relationship. I'll tell you what; I will grant you one more opportunity to prove yourself. If you fail in this task, my dear, I'm afraid that I will have to leave you, and AT&T, for Verizon and the Motorola Droid. iPhone, my love, there will always be a place for you in my heart, and my purse. This is why I will continue to use you as an mp3 player. (You do, after all, have 8 perfectly good and usable GB's).
Periodically yours,
Sarita

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